Fancy New Trail Running Shoes

At some point last week, as I was bending and flexing my Nike Free Runs and listening to the chunks of gravel falling out of the little square treads, I knew I had a choice to make. It was a choice between inconvenience and expense, and if you know me at all, you know I chose to spend the money.

See, the gravel road by my house is so blasted convenient. When I'm not running with Jennifer, I can run on Meth Alley and no one drives by, ever. It is quiet. Sometimes there are deer. It's nice there. Aside from the meth, but that happened late at night last summer, and now the police drive through that area so often, I think Meth Alley is going to get its name changed to "Formerly Meth Alley." The only problem with (Formerly) Meth Alley is the gravel. My shoes are minimalist. That means less cushioning between me and the road, less chunks of rubber and foam keeping me from feeling what I'm running on, less chances for me to trip over giant objects because my brain accounts for my feet, not my feet AND shoes. But the gravel sticks in the awesome tread on my shoes, meaning I am essentially running ON rocks. The rocks become a part of my shoe and I carry those rocks with me until I get home, which is when I spend a good amount of time removing all the gravel and using it to replenish the driveway.

I could choose not to ever run on Meth Alley again, despite the convenience, the pretty scenery, and the lack of scary trucks careening past me at 65mph. OR, I could choose to buy trail running shoes.

I have tried driving out to Murder Trail. It sucks. The drive is 30 minutes both ways, and if I run for 30 minutes, that's an hour and a half out of my day that I could be spending doing something else, like sleeping. Plus, that's gas I could use to, I don't know, visit someplace cool someday.

All this led to the running store and my new fancy shoes. They are made just for trail running, and nothing can get caught in the treads. I know. I did a second run today, after the morning one, just to test them out on Meth Alley, and not a stone got stuck in my shoes and I never slipped on the gravel once.

This is a vast improvement.

Please ignore my ghostly pale skin.

Plus, they are red, which makes me feel faster. Don't they make you think, "The girl wearing these is super-speedy?" Well you're wrong. I'm the slowest runner around. But I try.

The lady at Three Rivers Running Company was incredibly nice. I walked in and sounded way more knowledgeable than I really am. I told her I wanted trail running shoes that were lightweight and airy. She pulled out four pairs for me to try on, with varying degrees of stability. I'm supposed to wear a stabilizing shoe, but I find that type of shoe leads me to fall on my face, so we found one with the lowest amount of correction, enough to help me out but not enough to make me trip.

These are by Montrail and are named "Bajada." I should look that word up but I probably never will. Bonus points for the person who does. They are slightly narrow, which is perfect for my feet, and when I saw the color I thought, "This is so weird that it's COOL." They come in other colors for the less awesome people who choose not to wear shoes that blind other runners.

My skin actually glows in direct sunlight,
like in Twilight only with less bloodsucking.

They really are great to run in, and I'm looking forward to my next opportunity to run in them, which won't be tomorrow because I'm working and then going straight to Indy for a play. But Sunday, hopefully, I will get to go play run.

In Which Laura Runs 5K, Somehow

Well, my toe must be feeling better, because today I accidentally ran 5K.

I went for a run on Murder Trail, and as I ran along, I thought, "Gee, this running section seems like it's taking FOR-EV-ER. Maybe I missed the command to walk? Nah."

I had not skipped walking. No. Instead, I had failed to read the instructions for Day Two of Week Five, which state, and I'm paraphrasing, "Five minute warm-up. Run eight minutes. Walk five minutes. Run eight minutes. Five minute cool-down."

Heh. So I ran eight minutes. And I didn't look at my phone, so when it told me during the walking section that I was halfway done, I laughed at it because the app was crazy to think that only one running and half a walking section was halfway. Halfway was supposed to be mid-second running section, because I thought the day's instructions were, "Five minute warm-up. Run five minutes. Walk three minutes. Run five minutes. Walk three minutes. Run five minutes. Five minute cool-down." But I was wrong.

So I started running the second eight-minute block, still thinking I was supposed to run five minutes, until I passed the two mile marker and kept going. This made me think something was wrong, because I really shouldn't have passed the two mile marker if I wasn't yet halfway done. So I paused the app and checked.

Only then did I realize that I'd run eight minutes with little to no misery. Way to go, me! Only then did I realize that I was two miles from my car and...essentially done running. Great.

So I finished the running block, walked five minutes, then did another running block of eight minutes. Judging from my GPS app, that took me up to OVER three miles of running! This means that, if I can cut out the walking in the middle, I will have no problem running the 5K in June. My body CAN run 5K in one day. I can do it. This is awesome.

In other news, a giant log fell from the sky and took out a section of fence on the trail. I checked, but there were no bodies underneath the log, meaning it did not kill anyone, unless the victims were already removed. This means that nature is not the murderer on Murder Trail. 

(For the record, I will never run on Murder Trail if I see a Camaro parked at the trailhead. Jeremy Clarkson from Top Gear says Camaros are only driven by murderers, and he knows about cars, so he must be right.)

Tomorrow I head to the running store, and the running store people will help me find the perfect trail running shoes, so I can go back to running down Meth Alley by my house. Sometimes the drive to Murder Trail sucks. Also the drive home, when I am sweaty and gross, sucks.

Today when I ran, the temperature rose to over 80 degrees. I have never been so sweaty in my life. I am just thankful that nobody was around to see me, because I bet I looked like Mickey Rourke, only without the steroid abuse. (Although Mickey Rourke sweats while he is sitting down and relaxed. At least I had the excuse of running three miles in 80 degree heat.)

What Life Is Like Toe-day

Yes, I did make a terrible joke in the title. No, I am not sorry.

Last night, as my toe throbbed, I went on Facebook and accosted my friend Erica, who is a nurse (or is about to be, not sure when she graduates). I asked her if toes fall off on their own, or if they just hurt like this in order to convince their owners to break out the hedge clippers and do the job ourselves.

Erica was slightly grossed out by the hedge clipper remark.

However, she told me she thought I had dislocated my toe. She said it probably would feel better in a few days, and that I should ice it in the meantime. She told me removing the toe would not be necessary. It should stay where it belongs. It belongs on my foot, apparently.

I decided to trust her, so I went to sleep.

This morning, it felt SO MUCH BETTER. It was like magic. Instead of having agony that was, like a 9 on the pain scale (speaking as someone who has had their abdomen scissored open and organs pulled out and mailed to the Mayo Clinic, and therefore knows the pain scale well). Today, it is like a 2. In fact, it is only a 2 when I am actively walking around. It is a 0 when I am not walking around.

It turns out, toes are forgiving appendages.

I am still not running today, because if my toe gets angry about the running, I could end up miserable again. I hate misery, so no running.

I also am going to the running store on Friday, where I am getting trail running shoes, because I am not running on sidewalks nearly as much as I am running on the gravel road by my house (Meth Alley), and gravel requires different shoes. Trail running shoes, in fact. Trail running shoes are fancy, because they're designed to make it so you don't feel like you're running barefoot on gravel. My current shoes make me feel like I'm running barefoot on gravel. (It is possible that this contributed to the toe agony.)

I would not buy new shoes, because I am cheap, except my friend Pam made a face when I told her about my road running shoes and how I was using them on gravel, and she gave me a grave warning. The face was something like terror, and the warning involved a story about her foot and the hideous agony that led her to have to buy Vibrams, better known as the toe-shoes, in order to escape horrible pain.

These are Vibrams. They are designed to repel friends and loved ones.

I do not want to have to be in horrible pain. I also do not want to have Vibrams. I am really glad they worked for Pam, but she is normal. I am a freaky weird person, and if I put on Vibrams, I would look even MORE freakish, and I would be driven from society. Possibly with pitchforks.

I also do not want to damage myself, though, so because I Googled lots of toe health things trying to figure out what's wrong with me, I now I have toe-spacers. These are gel insert things that you put between your big toes and second toes in order to encourage the big toes to become straight so that you don't develop bunions or have to have a doctor break both toes for clinical purposes and reset them so they will be straight. I am wearing them now. They feel like flip flops, only the gel is way more comfortable than the average flip flop. You put them between your toes, then put on your socks and shoes to hold them in place.

They are odd. But hopefully they will make my toes look less terrifying, and, more importantly, they will make it so no one has to take a sledgehammer to my feet for clinical purposes. That sounds clinically painful.

Why Suffer Alone? (Day Three of Running)

Today was a running day. The gap between running on Monday and running today was enough that I actually didn't feel awful about the whole experience. I was almost looking forward to it. Almost.

Another bonus was that The Brother had said he would accompany me so that I did not get thrown into a windowless van and murdered. This is a bonus. You never can tell when someone will decide to kill you, especially when you are in my age bracket. The only way I could increase my statistical likelihood of being murdered would be to change my profession from "librarian" to "woman of easy virtue." (That isn't going to happen.)

Mum and I spent the morning trying to catch up with my father, aunt and uncle, and grandfather, who were in Elkhart trying to arrange a long-term care situation for my grandmother. We weren't able to meet them, so we turned around in Goshen and headed home after first having the best Philly cheesesteak of my life and what is likely the best lemon meringue pie in the world. We'd seen South Side Soda Shop several thousand times as we drove to Elkhart and back, but we'd never been able to stop for food. Now I'm going to insist on stopping, at least for pie. I mean, just look at how awesome this place is!



Mum and I followed my favorite restaurant practice of asking the waitress what we should order. We had a cheesesteak and an Italian hoagie. BOTH of those sandwiches were phenomenal. We saw a gorgeous lemon meringue pie in the bakery case on the way in the door, so we ordered one to take home, only to discover that their lemon meringue pie had won best in the state. Once I tasted it, I wasn't surprised. Best. Ever.

Okay. Food interlude over. I really like food. This would be why I exercise.

While we were on our way home, we stopped at a sporting goods store and I found one of these to hold my cell phone, keys, and inhaler while I run. I really have to carry my inhaler, and I can't leave my keys in the car, and my cell phone has my running app on it, so I had to come up with some kind of solution for carrying things with me. After one run, I can tell you that it stays in place and doesn't cause any discomfort. So far I'm happy with it.

I also went to T.J. Maxx, my favorite place, and found some non-cotton running shirts for summertime. Because I am going to keep doing the running thing, even during the summer. Sigh. T.J. Maxx is a great place to look for fitness wear on the cheap. They are cheaper than Target. They are even cheaper than Walmart. AND they have name-brand stuff from Nike, Reebok, UnderArmor, and the like. They even have shoes, but I still recommend getting fitted for shoes at a running store. If you just want cute shoes to walk around in, go to T.J. Maxx. If you want to run, go to Three Rivers Running Company, or to another store like it where you live.

By the time I arrived home, I was excited about running. And I went out, and it was hard. But it wasn't AS hard. I don't know if it was actually easier, or if the improved weather just made it feel that way. But I actually had fun. The Brother thought he was going to die. I think he stopped breathing for a little while. He did, however, keep up with me almost the whole way, and for someone going from a lifetime of hunching over a computer keyboard to a running routine that I find challenging after almost two years of HIIT workouts, that's pretty impressive.

He reports that laughter causes his bum to hurt. Other than that, he's alive. I might actually get him to run with me again! Somebody's getting running clothes for his birthday this fall! (And yes, I'll get them at T.J. Maxx).

Day 22 and Day 23: Jennifer Gets Married (and Laura Gets Running Shoes)

So yesterday, 30 Day Shred happened. Then, this morning, it happened again.

But more importantly: today, Jennifer got married. And I got running shoes. I told her that while she was committing to her husband, I was committing to shoes. Which is the same, except different.

For one, your shoes need to be supportive. They need to travel with you for a really long time. You should probably love them. And while they keep you from hurting, you do the same for them by not randomly lighting them on fire. Just like marriage!

Except shoes don't really have feelings.

I think.

Let's all take a moment and cheer for Jennifer and her new husband, Brandon, in the comments!

So on my quest for shoes, I drove to Fort Wayne and went to Three Rivers Running Company, in the hope that they would know how to MAKE THE HURTING STOP.

As ordered, I brought along my old shoes. I put them in my bag with some socks. Socks are important. When I went inside, there were all kinds of people of all different ages getting shoes! And they had a treadmill and a camera and this long strip in the middle of the store for you to run on. And I almost got run over! It was very exciting.

When the Running Store Lady, whose name is actually Liz, said hello to me and asked what I was looking for, I opened up my bag and handed her a shoe. And then I said, "Not these. These shoes are the devil. They are instruments of evil."

"Okay," she said.

"I run in them, and I hurt. I stand in them, and I hurt. Then I run in my TOMS, and I have no pain. These shoes are manufactured by Satan."

"YOU RUN IN YOUR TOMS?!"

Liz was clearly horrified.

"Just a little bit," I said. "I mostly wanted to see if the pain was because I am prone to random bouts of agony, or if it was because of those shoes. And it's the shoes."

She nodded. Then she got me a pair of TEST SHOES. These were the brightest pink I have ever seen. You could not look directly at the shoes, because blindness.

I ran on a treadmill. I was terrified. I have never run on a treadmill before. I proved this by running on only the very front of my feet. It was like tip-toeing, only faster. Liz quickly realized that I was not a treadmill sort of girl.

Then she had me run on their indoor sidewalk. And I ran heel to toe, like you are supposed to. Only apparently, I over-pronate. But only with my left foot.

"Did you injure your left foot?" Liz asked.

"No," I said. "I injured my right one."

Explain that, orthopedists.

So she quickly decided I needed the kind of shoe that forcibly prevents you from hurting yourself by any means necessary.

Seriously, are we surprised?

She pulled out a bunch of shoes, and I tried them on, and I ran some more. And some of the shoes felt funky, some of them felt loose, some of them felt like I was running with wooden boards strapped to my feet.

And then we found them.

They are Nikes, which I did not expect to like after the brutal violent murderous experience I had with the Devil Shoes. But they run a bit narrower than the other sorts, and with my freakishly narrow feet, that ended up being a huge plus.

Also, they feel like I am running on marshmallows, not on hard concrete. They are wicked comfy.

So, the shoe for me ended up being "Nike Zoom Structure +15," whatever the heck kind of name for a shoe that is.

And I am very happy.