The Best Thing Ever

I am a hairy girl. Like, not gorilla-level hairy, but I am very pale with extremely dark hair, so I FEEL very hairy, because the hair stands out more on my skin. I remember being a kid at the dunes outside of Chicago and thinking, "Wow, no one else has arm hair as thick as mine," because no one in my family did, except my dad, and he is a man. So yeah. That's fun for you to realize when you're eleven and want to be pretty.

For years I have tried everything to diminish the appearance of hair (bleach, anyone?). I shave my legs, but it does me no good because the root is so dark under my translucent skin, it looks like I didn't bother. I even experimented with at-home mustache waxing, because I thought, "I can do this!" And, "The Internet says shaving makes the hair darker!" But my hands aren't warm enough to melt the wax strip, leading me to put the wax strip under my sports bra, leading my to fall asleep trying to melt the wax, leading to me waking up and wondering how this wax strip ended up in my bra all night.

I am a feminist, and if you don't want to shave, good for you. I wish I could be that kind of person. I really would love to be, but my skin is so sensitive, when my hair (or a piece of grass, or a bit of splinter, or a pine needle) pricks it, I have an allergic reaction. If I grow my hair out, it literally gives me hives. This is loads of fun, I might add. Really. so much fun. You should try it.

Enter my new favorite thing, the epilator.

I got the Braun Silk-epil 9. It has been in my Amazon cart for over a year. I finally clicked "order" when a friend bought one, and ironically, she didn't end up loving it. But the week I have spent ripping all my hair out with the epilator has been the happiest of my life.

It comes with a bunch of stuff. And it is beautiful.

I epilated my legs. They looked hairless. Actually looked hairless. I have never shaved and look like I'd bothered to shave. I have smooth legs for the first time ever. I had a 5 o'clock leg hair shadow by 10:00 AM. Seriously. It is why I stopped wearing shorts. Because the prickly leg thing was so annoying, and then hives would appear. Good times. Really, try being allergic to life sometime.

I said, "What the heck, let's just commit." So I epilated my arms. Oh my goodness. I am planning on installing a shrine to this thing. I haven't had hives in days, except for where the hair on my head hits my shoulders (time for a haircut).

This is amazing. It's like no-benadryl Christmas here.

Epilator review, 13/10. Buy at once.