I feel that I need to confess something.
This morning when I woke up, I washed my hair the way I do every morning, and then I got out my hair dryer, and I dried my hair, because that's what I do.
Then I turned off the hair dryer and pressed the button that retracts the cord. This is a new feature that my old hair dryer didn't have. But my old hair dryer exploded, so I bought this one, partially due to the ease of cord-management.
But when I pressed the cord button, I was holding the cord to my hair straightener, not the cord for the hair dryer, so the hair dryer cord whipped me in the face, and the big square plug section of the plug hit me in my eye, which was open.
Also, it knocked out my contact lens.
This is why I can't have nice things.