35 Steps to a Lazy Weekend

1. Leave work. Note that train is stopped on tracks. Realize that this is related to train accident you heard about earlier, in which semi filled with five hour energy drink had not fully crossed tracks when struck by train. Recall that semi is now in three pieces, not counting the spilled energy drink. Curse under breath.

2. Sit in traffic jam for thirty minutes, until police (also stuck in traffic jam) manage to navigate through town and to intersection. Wait for police to direct traffic. Cross energy drink-free tracks.

3. Drive home.

4. Arrive home from work. Change from work clothes into jeans and Magic Hoodie.

5. Realize that Reese's Minis are still gone.

6. Drive back to Wabash in order to go to Walmart. Pretend that you are doing this to buy cat food, when really, it is all about the Reese's Minis.

7. Buy Reese's Minis. Normal Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are not an acceptable substitution.

8. Drive back home.

9. Arrive home ten minutes after Fringe has begun. Curse under breath.

10. Begin knitting yoke of sweater. Start lace chart.

11. Discover that lace chart is not worked over only right side rows, but also over wrong side rows. Eat Reese's Minis.

12. Start watching Criminal Minds, because Prentiss is now somewhere in Europe if not somewhere even further away, and everyone thinks she's dead when she really isn't, which is tragic, and way more tragic than it was when J.J. left, because they could call J.J., and they so can't call Prentiss, because they just buried her, even if the coffin is actually empty. Cry a little.

13. Realize that random bouts of tears might be related to lack of sleep over work week. Go to bed early.

14. Wake up. Stare at clock. Shrug.

15. Wake up again. Eat lunch.

16. Start working on yoke of sweater. Proceed through large portion of lace chart.

17. Cook dinner.

18. Eat dinner.

19. Go back to working on sweater.

20. Stare at lace chart. Watch as chart blurs and swirls over page.

21. Develop migraine.

22. Go to bed early.

23. Wake up. Squint at clock.

24. Crawl out of bed. Start working on lace chart.

25. Finish lace chart. Count stitches. Discover that sweater has approximately 20 stitches more than what sweater should have.

26. Eat a few more Reese's Minis.

28. Rip back six rows of sweater. Put stitches back on needles.

29. Rip back four more rows of sweater. Put stitches back on needles.

30. Knit lace chart. This time, actually follow chart.

31. Finish lace chart, discover sweater has 3 stitches less than what sweater should have.

32. Shrug. Pretend sweater is size smaller than sweater is.

33. Work short rows across back.

34. Place sweater on waste yarn. Eat more Reese's Minis. Try on sweater.

35. Rejoice that sweater is both cute and correct size. Go to sleep.