Friday, March 30, 2012

Intro to Greco-Roman Mythology with Professor Laura

My fellow WGCC-er and MHLit reviewer extraordinaire, Kelly, had a mythology test this week. She was not looking forward to it. What follows is our conversation, taken directly from Twitter (with minor edits to allow for readability), in which I tell the myth of Arachne in bursts of 140 characters or less.

Kelly: GRRRRR. TELL ME A MYTHOLOGY STORY. THE ARACHNE ONE. [that's what I'm on]
Me: Once upon a time, this lady named Arachne had WICKED MAD WEAVING SKILLZ. 

Arachne: "I am weaving LIKE A BOSS." Villagers: "PREACH."

Arachne: "I am MADE OF AWESOME. Not even Minerva, the goddess of WISDOM AND CRAFTS, SUCKS COMPARED TO ME." Minerva: "OH NO SHE DIDN'T!"

So then there was a SHOW DOWN in GRECOROMAN-TOWN, and Arachne wove and Minerva wove in a FACE OFF fit for the WWE.

(That's the Wise Weaver-Elite, not the World Wrestling Entertainment thing.)

Arachne: "MY TAPESTRY is prettier than YOURS. PLUS it features your dad doin' the NASTY with HAPLESS MORTAL WOMEN."

Minerva: "I HATE NO ONE MORE THAN YOU, STUPID MORTAL WOMAN. YOUR TAPESTRY IS TOO AWESOME TO EXIST." *destroys tapestry*

But THAT WASN'T ENOUGH for Minerva. She totally slashed Arachne's face up! And THEN, she turned her into a SPIDER.

Which was kind of overkill, if you think about it. She didn't need to slash her up if she was going to spider-ize her.

Minerva: "I WILL CUT YOU. No wait. I have a better idea." *SPIDER RAY*

And THAT, twin, is why knitters hate spiders. Cause the goddess of wisdom and crafts tells us to. So we kill them DEAD.
Kelly: That is a BRILLIANT retelling. SO much more fun than Ovid.

Me: *takes a bow*

I totally kill all the spiders. I end them, Shadowhunter-style, cause my lady Minerva done told me to. *knits on*

Kelly: I love how I said "TWIN. TELL ME THIS STORY." And she just KNEW it. My twin is SMART.

Laura: I also have a copy of Edith Hamilton's MYTHOLOGY and I knows how to use it. And I am obsessive. And I read the Ovid.

Why did I reproduce this? Firstly, because I had so much fun teaching mythology via tweets. Secondly, so you would all know what you were missing by not following me on Twitter. Lots of hilarity goes on there.

I think it might be fun to teach other things in ridiculous ways. Does anyone have anything they'd like to learn about? I will TEACH you. Let me know in the comments.

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