Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Epoxy! Epoxy on Both Your Houses!

I started this evening with bits of broken curtain rod and a container of epoxy.

I finished the evening with a partially-used container of epoxy and a broken curtain rod. And did I mention that the curtain rod is now disassembled, torn from the wall, and outside the house?

Apparently, when the bottle of epoxy says, "Do Not Inhale" it really means, "If you use this inside a dwelling, even one with no walls and barely a roof at all, it will dissolve your brain like an alka seltzer tablet in 30 seconds flat."

I tried to fix the curtain rod, but the epoxy could not seal without some kind of clamp or stabilizer, which wouldn't work with the construction of the curtain rod, so my hand had to be the clamp, and I have a tremor, so it wasn't all that stable. In the course of a few minutes, I had gone from a happy, hopeful person to a violently ill shadow of a girl.

And then I said, "This is ridiculous," so I ripped the whole curtain rod out of the wall, mostly with my bare hands because the screwdriver wasn't fast enough. Then I drug the whole assembly outdoors and chucked it into the garage, probably ruining it further.

Now I'm in bed with a migraine, and I might be dying. Was this worth saving money on a curtain rod? No.

Was this experience worth it, just for the Shakespearean home-improvement joke? Yes. Yes it was.

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