Sitting and waiting for this doctor's appointment has made me consider the massive amount of things that are going wrong with me, even as we speak.
-I eat Tums like candy
-I'm allergic to life itself, including the office I work in, the library I work in, the old school I volunteer in, my car, my basement, the outdoors, perfume, mint, and, ironically, newspaper print
-Bronchial spasms (at least that's what we think they are--no one really knows) make me feel like I'm having heart tremors
-I get carsick while standing/sitting still
-I take Tylenol p.m. just to fall asleep at night--and I never consume caffiene--but although I have massive dark circles under my eyes, they are caused by something else
-Hypersensitivity to adrenaline makes my hands shake constantly
-I always inhale what I drink, no matter what it is. This also includes ice cream, even though that is eaten.
-I fall down stairs and off curbs so often, I don't even know where half the bruises are from, or if the random pain I feel suddenly from different parts of my body is caused by clumsiness or cancer. Cancer of the elbow, the pinkie toe, the kneecap, you name it.
And if I list any more, it will be horrifying, and possibly blind you. Do you think the doctor will overlook all this, or will I be interred at the hospital?