Thursday, December 19, 2013

Suffering, an Autobiography of Fitness

When I was in my latest car accident, in which a car blew past a stop sign in front of my friend Bethany's car in an attempt to prematurely end all our lives, I got whiplash.

Whiplash sucks.

As a matter of fact, it still sucks. My neck makes new noises I don't like or trust. But time passes, injuries heal, and this week I thought, "Laura, you are becoming a pudding. A human Christmas pudding."

(These are the sort of uplifting bits of information my brain likes to give me, in order to brighten my day and improve my self-esteem.)

So I thought about it and realized I wasn't waking up in unspeakable pain anymore, AND I could both turn my head and look up all at the same time. I decided that meant I could try fitness again.

I am trying to say nice things about this fitness. All I can really say that is: My neck doesn't hurt.

The rest of me hurts.

I can't sit or stand without pain, and I am walking as if someone decided to beat me with a tire iron before I came to work. Tire irons hurt. Fitness hurts.

There is not enough sweet tea in the world to make me feel better.

I have to do this again tomorrow. Also the next day. Also the next day.

Stupid healthy lifestyle, ruining my life.


  1. Did you ever end up trying the memory foam pillow?

    1. Before I bought the memory foam pillow, I ended up with a memory foam neck brace. I'm still planning on picking one up to try it out, though.