Wednesday, June 17, 2015

LUSH Splurge

If you are Jennifer or The Brother, you know that all I've been watching lately (other than home improvement stuff) has been YouTube videos from beauty vloggers like Essie Button, Amelia Liana, Megan Rienks, Zoella, and Ingrid Nilsen. And one constant between all their channels is haul videos. I don't know why I love haul videos so much, but I do. Maybe it is because other people are spending money, so I get the happiness of new things without having to spend any money.

But today. Today I did spend money. At LUSH, which is one of my favorite places.

Part of this is Rachael's fault, because I tend to shop fast and today she looked around longer than I did, resulting in my thinking "Maybe I need two more things..." and then buying the two things. I told the lady at the store to put everything in the one bag, though, so it would seem like I did not buy stuff and then buy more stuff. The shame of checking out twice wasn't enough to stop me from buying more, it was just enough to make me want to HIDE that I was buying more.


I try to only go into LUSH once every six months or so, because it's a problem. I mean, I'm allergic to almost everything that has a smell, and there's LUSH, all good-smelling and NOT causing me to almost die of asthma! At LUSH, I get to decide "I want this because it smells good," instead of "I have to buy this product even though it stinks or doesn't work, because I did a patch test and didn't get sick."

LUSH is a miracle place, and my love for it is akin to the love the average preteen girl had for Bath and Body Works when I was in junior high. Except, back then, I couldn't understand why all the pretty-smelling lotions gave me a migraine or made me throw up and want to die. Now we know.

Here's my LUSH "haul." That is in quotes because no, I am not making you a YouTube video. That is not my thing.

Oatifix face mask. The face masks at LUSH have to live inside your fridge or they go bad, because they include fresh fruits and things. This one is oatmeal and smashed bananas and other goodness. It's supposed to moisturize your skin and calm it down. It makes your face smell like a cookie.

Honey, I Washed the Kids soap. This is what I went to LUSH to buy. It is my favorite soap of all time, the first LUSH product I've ever used, and the one bath product I cannot live without. It smells like honey and caramel and everything that's right with the world. The soaps at LUSH come in giant chunks like the huge wheels of Parmesan cheese you see in fancy shops. They take a knife and hack slices off for you to buy, so if you want, you can get big pieces to keep at home. I just get soap-shaped pieces so I have an excuse to go back to LUSH. This is called self-sabotage.

Soft Coeur. This is a massage bar, but no one is giving me any massages, so I plan on using it as a solid moisturizer. That's what the lady at LUSH told me to do. You rub it on your skin and it melts a bit, then you put down the bar and rub your skin some more until it is absorbed. I got this specifically for my elbows and knees. They need some extra TLC. Also I got this because it smells like Honey, I Washed the Kids. If you tell me something smells like that soap, I will buy it no matter what it does.

Stepping Stone. This is a foot scrubber. It is shaped like a foot. It smells, I kid you not, like lemon Pez. It reminds me of everything that was good about my preteen years, and by that, I mean it reminds me of The Pretender.* Also it is shaped like a foot. LIKE A FOOT.

Sun. This is one of LUSH's perfumes. This smells like citrus peel. It's bright and summery and makes me happy. Plus--See how safe LUSH is for me? I can actually buy their perfume...and WEAR it. I can wear perfume on special occasions now, or when I've been outside and gotten overheated and want to pretend I've showered! This is brilliant. I have their Vanillary solid perfume, too. I love it!

I know that's too much stuff, but now I am at home, surrounded by lovely-smelling things, and I feel like this guy:

* Jared always ate Pez.

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