My obsessiveness claims another victim.
This is why I cannot do plants. Plants cannot tell you, "I am seriously not thirsty, dude." They just keep drinking until they die, much like humans. This is why I could never keep a Tamagotchi alive. My little frog died every time because I fed it until its bar of food-consumption was full. The poor Tamagotchi was fed to death. It ate and ate until it died.
The internets say I should water my succulent one time per month. I have been watering one time per week. I am a plant-killer. Bringer of death. Destroyer of worlds.
I have decided not to touch it or make direct eye contact for the foreseeable future. I am too dangerous for that kind of one-on-one plant bonding.