Sunday, May 20, 2007

A sigh of relief, uttered from deep within my soul

I just read something illuminating to a situation I have found myself in. It proves me to be excessivly right in all things. I am vindicated. I knew it all along. Here is the thing.

I am going out to buy this book, then I am never going to allow anyone to talk me into changing the strategy I was implementing prior to one year ago. I will use the book, at my bedside, to ensure that I remember to not forget.

I hereby declare myself free of all obligations, stressors, and negative stimuli! From this point forward I will be calm and I will focus on the aspects of my life that will give me the tools I need to succeed as a human being in the world. I will read. I will start writing, really writing, again. I will have a manuscript in my hand by the end of the summer, then I will start editing.

I feel as if I have been used, for when I needed support through my illness, I was left on my own. I will not allow myself to feel that way again.

My father taught me a lot, some of which left thick, deep emotional scars all over my psyche, but the most important (positive) thing he taught me lives immortalized in the excerpt I have linked to: I rock as a human being, I deserve only the best, I have vibrantly attractive qualities. I am going to trust Dad.

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