Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Life Lessons From the Past 24 Hours

1. I cannot travel light. There are too many medicines for that, so I have left the world of jumping on a plane with only a carry-on behind me forever, because there are just too many pills for that. I look like a drug dealer when I pack, because one person under 80 cannot possibly be on so many medications, right? Wrong. Because I am on all of those medicines and somehow I managed to grow in such a way that I need them to survive. How many allergy medicines can one person take? I'm not even going to tell you. (A lot.)

2. Chickens poop on their eggs after laying them, sometimes. I don't think this is intentional, but knowing it makes the whole washing-eggs-before-you-crack-them thing make way more sense. Suddenly, the reasoning is clear. Eggs can never be clean enough. Irradiate the eggs. IRRADIATE THEM.

3. I'm not good at stairs. This isn't news, really. But I rediscovered it.

4. Cable television--or satellite--is hard to learn (and I cannot live without the internet). Setting aside the fact that Comcast is basically run by the devil in a button down shirt, the actual use of television that isn't on an antenna requires a certain amount of learning I seem to be unwilling to put into it. So I turned to the internet, but using my phone because no WiFi, and I have to say, it's hard to be internet-less.

5. I am too tall for some elliptical machines. I nearly knocked myself unconscious while running on the elliptical machine last night, because I am a giant or because the ceiling was too low or because the elliptical machine was too far off the ground to start with.  It's also possible that I hit my head not one time but four times, but we're not going to dwell on that right now.

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