Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Oh, the Payne, Oh the HUMANITY.

On Friday, Jennifer and I met our friend Andy at Payne's Coffee and Custard, and it was amazing. I love that place so much. I love it so much that when I saw their coffee mugs, I had to have one.


Before you ask, that is Andy's arm and no, I didn't know I was taking a picture of it.

I took the mug home, washed it, and I have used it every day since.

This morning I woke up, boiled water, and promptly dropped my Payne's mug on the ground, shattering it into tiny pieces at my feet. I then spent the remainder of the time I had to get ready searching through the whole house for a broom and dustpan.

We have no broom or dustpan.*

When I finally used some kind of brush to sweep up the tiny bits of pottery, I had to use a spare sheet of paper to scoop up the debris.

That mug lasted only FOUR DAYS in my care. I bought it Friday night, so I'm not counting Friday, and I broke it this morning, so I'm not count
ing today. Only FOUR DAYS. That poor mug deserved better. It deserved a less clumsy person and a kitchen with floors that are not so unforgiving. It deserved a LIFE.

But no. And now I feel like I shouldn't get another fancy mug somewhere, because I am not responsible enough to own a nice mug. I need gross dollar store mugs that break when you look at them. I need disposable cups.

And when all of the cleaning was said and done, I went tea-less because there was no time to make it. Tea-less Laura. What sorrow. I mean, I went to work and made tea, but it's DIFFERENT tea. This is ginger and citrus blend, not my orange pekoe, which means no milk and sugar, which means work tea is actually AFTERNOON tea, not morning tea. All of this means my day is already ruined.

This whole situation Payne's me. (See what I did there?)

Well. That was my morning. How was yours?

* This may be untrue, but, if we have either, they are out in the garage or in the shed or perhaps stored in a plastic tub in the basement, sealed away until they are rediscovered by archaeologists under a car park 500 years from now, like Richard III's bones.


  1. You could get a Tupperware travel mug that doesn't break when you drop it. Or Contigo. I love my Contigo and have dropped it three times and it hasn't broken yet!

    And for the record-having to prove I'm not a robot to post this comment required squinting, pulling out my glasses, and then still GUESSING what text I was supposed to answer. Yikes.

    1. I think I should just stop trying to wash dishes first thing in the morning. That is just a stupid thing to do. Who does that? People who are afraid something is living in their mugs and also me. Maybe instead I should wake up, take out a CLEAN mug, and pour liquid into it, instead of trusting my dexterity first thing in the morning. Clearly I cannot hold a towel and a mug at the same time before 6:30 AM.

  2. On the bright side, we have an excuse to go back to Payne's ;) Plus, you'll have a fancy new mug coming your way on Friday...hopefully.

    1. Oh, we are GOING back to Payne's. I needs a pretty Payne's mug. It has a UNION FLAG on it.