Thursday, August 7, 2014

How to Design Your Blog In 20 Easy Steps


I realized through my design process that graphic design is hard. People who do it for money should get paid a lot. They also should get free coffee and unlimited shortbread cookies.
  1. Take a look at your blog and find it wanting. Decide you want a change.
  2. Convince yourself that you are capable of making the changes yourself. This can be accomplished with the help of your friends and their blogs, Pinterest, or a simple Google search. Blog design is easy! Anyone can do it!
  3. Download 60 or more new fonts for no apparent reason.
  4. Look at some blogs you admire for inspiration.
  5. Download digital scrapbook paper from various sources.
  6. Upload scrapbook image to Blogger. Realize that the new background is obviously tiled.
  7. Remove background. Resolve to purchase cookies.
  8. Read many blog posts from blogs you admire. You haven't gone through all their archives, after all.
  9. Adjust your blog's layout. Maybe the sidebar could be a few pixels narrower...
  10. Add some pages. You should have an about-me page. Even if it says nothing of note. And even if you find yourself boring. Everybody has one. You should too.
  11. Find a way to make the Blogger bar go away from the top of the page. Eat a cookie as a reward.
  12. Adjust your blog's layout to make the sidebar even narrower. Eat a second cookie.
  13. Play around with making a header for your blog. Decide you hate this header. Repeat three more times.
  14. Accidentally delete your current blog template.
  15. Avoid crying by eating another cookie. Realize others might want to taste some of these cookies before they are gone. Hide cookies from self in cabinet.
  16. Make another header. Decide header is hideous and nothing will ever make you happy again. Retrieve cookies from hiding place. Realize the flaw in your plan is that you know where the hiding place is.
  17. Spend several hours on Pinterest looking at design tutorials. Realize that Blogger tutorials from 2008 aren't going to be of any help. Regret consumption of last cookie.
  18. Learn how to use web fonts in CSS. Add fonts. Realize that fonts do not work. Weep.
  19. Drop $15 for Blogger template provided by soothing website that somehow manages to make you feel good about yourself with its descriptions.
  20. Upload template.
The only reason why step 19 was not drinking was because we are out of blackberry wine. So I had to skip that step and go straight to buying a template.

My template is from Designer Blogs. Thanks to them, I am not crying on the floor of my bedroom (anymore). Check them out here.

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