Friday, March 6, 2009

Goodbye, Everybody!

We finally managed to get rid of Dad last night, after which Mom announced that she too would be hitting the

She is now gone too, off to see her dad, who has just turned 86. Happy birthday to my grandpa, who will never read this post or understand what we are talking about when we try to explain it to him!

I love him.

So, now, I am a lone girl out in the country all by myself, with only my sporadic network TV and my dial-up internet to comfort me. Oh, and my dog. And my cat. And Paul.

But as Paul has often said, in case of an attack, if I were with him, there would only end up being two victims instead of one, since he would not be able to defend me or himself. I laughed at him, and Paul told me I just needed to remember that I didn't have to outrun my attacker, just my brother.

Now that is sibling love. Because I am a much faster runner than Paul is, and I don't run bent over double, as he does for some reason. So unless I have to pass through a doorway, or between two trees, I will outrun them both easily. But if I do have to run between those things, I will end up slamming one or both of my shoulders so badly, I will no longer be able to continue. Just like what happens to me every morning and evening as I walk in and out of my room.

But I am moving at a much slower pace when I hit the door frame those times.

I am now trying to find ways to fill my life with something that does not include eating throughout this weekend. Today...I ate. And will continue to do so as I watch my Friday Night TV choices, including How Many Dresses (Ghost Whisperer) and Numbers (Numb3rs).

I will watch them with a carton of Chicken and Mushroom from the Great Wall, and Paul will be nearby with his Chicken and Nothing, over white rice (He doesn't eat vegetables, like Jay Leno but without the talk show).

Paul will inhale his meal, then leave me in my corner where I will wait a half hour, then begin searching for more food that I could eat, because I might be hungry in a little while so I should eat something before that so I won't get hungry at all. Eating for Fun and (Not) Profit.

Saturday I will take Paul back to campus because he will have realized that there is nothing fun to do at our house except talk to me, and that is not even a little bit fun.

At that point, Myst will be asleep somewhere and I will be unable to find her. Darcy will be looking at me as if to say, "When is Mom coming back? I like her more than I like you." And I will be thinking, "Isn't there some way some network provider could make me happy and give me internet? I want entertainment."

Because there isn't even bad TV on Saturdays. If there is TV at all, it's like a coin toss out here.

If I am lucky, I will make it through the trial of life on my own without causing harm to myself (I couldn't hurt others, because there won't be any others). I hope I do survive intact, because I really want to finish these socks I'm working on before I go.

1 comment:

  1. Paul's comment about not being able to defend you or him made me laugh. Also, the idea that you just need to be able to run faster than him. Which all serves to remind me of when I found out that Andy had compared an angry Jennifer to a bear. In terms of running away from the angry Jennifer, you don't have to be the fastest, you just can't be the slowest.