Saturday, March 8, 2014

I Still Suck at Beauty Blogging and I Found Another Thing I Like

I accidentally found the best nail polish ever. This is a thing that happened.

I went to T.J. Maxx, which is a holy place. It has everything, and it has it cheaper than at other places, and the only store that compares with its majesty is Marshall's, and Marshall's is owned by the same company as T.J. Maxx. It is like a surprise every time you go there. One day you'll find the perfect handbag, the next you'll find the Le Creuset dutch oven you've wanted for the last five years, in a discontinued color and therefore for over half off. Another time you'll find a whole rack of exercise clothing, with the perfect running shorts for $5 each. It's the happiest place on earth, and I go there any time I can.

I was sorting trough their soap section (they have lovely soap) and I found a tub of nail polishes, and one of them was Butter London in the color Thames.

This is rather a bold color, but I had actually seen Butter London at Ulta before, so I figured I would try the polish even though it was BRIGHT. I would use it only on my toes, anyway.

Butter London is better than all the other nail polish. I am not joking. It is better than Opi. It is better than Essie. It is better than any other kind, because it was designed for people who suck at painting their nails.

When I paint my nails, I paint mostly skin. Also I paint wavy lines, I paint some sections twice, I miss other sections altogether, and when I'm done, I smudge the polish within five minutes. This is because I have a tremor, and it seriously cramps my manicure style. Or it would if I had any style, manicure or otherwise.

But this stuff, I tell you. It doesn't make brushstroke lines. At all. This means you only really have to use one coat of polish, if you want to. If you want to have the polish as dark as it looks in the bottle, a second coat will accomplish that perfectly. You don't need four coats. It dries quickly, but not TOO quickly--meaning you can indeed fix your mistakes. You can FIX MISTAKES. I think this is because the polish is slightly thicker than the average polish, not watery or drippy. It is just...BETTER.

Also, no chipping.

It was so good, and somehow looked perfect with my skin tone, so for the first time in ages, I wore nail polish on my hands.

I thought it was magic at first, and I figured that it was just chance and that I would never have the same results again. But I did. I can paint my nails now. I woke up one night and thought, "Maybe I can paint my nails with ANYTHING..." So I painted my nails at two in the morning just to see if it worked with other polish and no, I did not change. I still suck at giving myself a manicure. Butter London is just that much better.

It is so much better that I went into Ulta yesterday and bought a color of my choosing at full price instead of waiting for it to end up in the discount bin at T.J. Maxx. That's how good Butter London is. Here's the one I picked, Aston, if you're curious.

I went home, painted my nails, and it doesn't look like a girl with a tremor painted my nails. It looks like someone with SKILLS painted my nails, and it only took me five minutes to do this. I didn't need my normal nail polish remover-soaked q-tip to correct mistakes. I didn't have to take a long bath afterwards to get all the extra polish off my hands. I just painted them and went on with life. It was so freeing.

And yes, Jennifer, Butter London comes in pretty blues.